Thursday, May 5, 2016

Dangerous Words

Dangerous words. Lyrics by Hillsong United. The most popular worship song of 2015 is a very meaningful cry to out God. It's about wanting to be in a place where you literally have no other choice but to trust him. It's about asking the Holy Spirit to lead you to a place much farther than your feet would ever set foot by your own choice. Every christian around the nation has been singing these words endlessly. But I have an honest question for you, brothers and sisters...

Do you really mean that? Do you really, truly want that?

I know that I didn't. Being outside of my comfort zone is one of the toughest things for me. I am extremely afraid of change, and I like very much to have a routine and act within those limits. I cannot count the number of times that I lifted my hands to the Lord as I sang these famous words. "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me." But I never expected the pain, suffering, and fear that came along with the Lord fulfilling this request. If you are going to be in a position where you are trusting the Lord without any borders, you are almost always going to be in a place where you have no other choice. You see, as sinners, our hearts are not always 100% committed to where the Lord wants us at the moment- what we say, what we do, what we think. We aren't puppets. The Lord allows us to make our own choices, and even as a committed believer, we still mess up. So even though I continuously asked the Lord to "take me deeper than my feet could ever wander," I wasn't really ready to do that. But I asked, and he answered. When Dad has his accident back in December, I remember feeling completely helpless. No matter how much I wanted to, I could not do anything about the fact that he was paralyzed. The doctors were constantly telling us all of the things he wouldn't be able to do again, and there was nothing we could do about it. I had no choice in the matter, no way to fix anything, no path to make life normal again, and absolutely no borders on trusting in the Lord. The Lord had led me there. I asked him to take me into the great unknown, farther than I would ever dare to go myself. Y'all, I would have never in my lifetime asked for this much uncertainty. I have struggled for a long time with fear- in so many different ways. The last thing I wanted was to endure the greatest fear I have ever felt. But I had no other choice. Trusting wholly and completely in the Lord was the only option I had. There was no way that my sinful heart could twist this to give me even a little bit of worldly comfort. Knowing that my Savior is in control now and forever, and that this earth is just the slightest glimpse of eternity, that is where my hope lies. It’s being so uncomfortable with where you are (physically or emotionally) that you finally surrender to the fact that Jesus Christ is the one and only thing that can bring your heart peace. He is the only One that can save you from drowning. None but Jesus. And I never wish that kind of pain and unrest on anyone, but at the same time, I also kind of do.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

So I challenge you to think about this song of prayer that you’re singing. Are you ready for what this means? Do you honestly want the Lord to take you to this place? If you do- and I pray your heart gets there- be ready for a wild ride. A painful, difficult, fulfilling, rewarding, wild ride.

And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior…”

1 comment:

  1. I love seeing your testimony as you walk through life with Jesus. You have leaned into the Father and it has been obvious; the strength, grace, courage and confidence you shine is uplifting and humbling at the same time. Thank you for letting the spirit lead and for leading us all through Uncle Ken's accident into the light again. It is still a long journey but alongside you, we will look to him who makes us stronger in his presence. Love you.